ICT Day Six : Report Sick

Nothing much to say. Except that in one day, I managed to read half of the book I had started one week ago. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray.

I stayed overnight in bunk on Sunday. Reported sick on Monday. I must say that the waiting time at the Medical Centre had shortened tremendously.

I used to complain to anyone who would listen about my bad experience with the medical centre last year. The system at the medical centre in camp was extremely inefficient. I had reported sick last ICT in the morning at 8.30a.m, and only received my status printout and medication at 3p.m. in the afternoon. By 10a.m. I had seen the MO, and was waiting for the results. Having waited an hour, I asked the medic on duty periodically for the results, starting from 11a.m.

By the fourth time I asked, at around 12.30p.m. The medic told me that everyone went for lunch. (Including the medic who was around at 12p.m. whom I was checking with constantly) Somehow, he, and the others who was there, neglected to tell me. I was waiting like a idiot for so long, and they happily went for lunch without telling the supposedly sick patient. (I had a fever, by the way.)

Anyway, this time round, the whole process at the medical centre took less than one hour. I got my "Attend C" status (can go home) and some medication by 9.30 a.m.

But why could I finish half a book, you ask?

This time it is the procedure of my unit that is the problem. Since my company is off for exercise, I come under the jurisdiction of the ME Platoon for that day. However, the ME Platoon was leaving in the afternoon, they were handing over the 'sick party' (the lost and wounded) to a Warrant Officer in charge of the ICT unit.

Thus "the sick" were told to wait for instructions as we were to have a briefing with him. Estimated time of arrival? 11.30 a.m.

I was told, "Why don't you sit around the office, and relax? We will be leaving at noon, then the warrant officer would brief all of you."

The time was 9.45a.m. when he said that. 2 hours away from time of arrival of the esteemed warrant O'. Of course I didn't wait. I went to bunk to finish half of my book, had a short nap, and still made it in time to meet my guardian for the next 3 days.

At the office, the warrant officer basically said that, since the rest of the unit is out for exercise, we cannot possibly join them. However, we cannot possibly "zhuo bor lan" (his exact words) either.

I am not sure if he got confused over our medical status, or whether he was genuinely being nice to us sick folks. In the end, he allowed the "Attend C" to go home and report to him after their "Attend C" status is over, but asked those on other excuse to report to him thrice per day, although meals were not provided.

Whatever, I was just happy to leave. My back was killing me, I was coughing pretty badly, and the MO gave me lozenges and gargling solution for it. Up till today, the medical centre still maintain the policy of 'no antibiotics'.

I am staring to sound like a old lady. (Literally...)

Hope in Fear?

Now I am sitting in front of my computer, I feel tired, but cannot sleep. That's because when I lie down, I feel nerve firings through my legs, my neck, my hands randomly.

The worst attack I have ever had was when I twisted in my sleep. An intense shot of pain shot through my nerves in my body, and no matter what position I lie in, I feel the pain. Hwei Min was there and I was literally screaming, and sobbing, not knowing what to do.

Whenever I lie down and I feel an ache in my back sometimes, I feel an overwhelming sense of fear rush over me. I start to imagine the worst, I start visualizing what is causing the pain in my spine. I start to imagine what will happen if i lose my ability to move my limbs. I think of the consequences to my family.

Knowing what I learnt from "The Secret", I know I should not focus on it too much, and instead, look forward to a full recovery. But lying down, feeling and jolting at every single tingle of my nerves, it's hard, you know?

So I am sitting in front of the pc... googling for information about my injury. I came to looking for news about Michael J. Fox, and somehow found some inspiration from watching an interview of him on Youtube.

ICT Day Five : Back Problem

Supposed to go back tonight, and be staying overnight in camp before going out field for exercise tomorrow.

My back problem is worsening. Last few days, I just felt a slight backache. Today, I start feeling muscular and nervous spasms all over my body when I lie down. Not good.

I think I will have to report sick. Don't think I want to go out field. Don't feel good dropping out like a loser, but I don't want to injure myself for life over a few days of maintaining my ego.

ICT Day Three/Four : Training - Appreciation

Past two days were spent doing basic engineering tasks. Not too bad, mainly refreshers, we forgot most of the procedures but our past knowledge kicked in shortly after 'hands on'.

As usual, though, lots of time spent waiting. The standard SAF motto, "Rush to wait, wait to rush" applies all the time. It seems no matter how much planning you put into arranging your tasks, so as to speed things up, SAF just seems to break everything back down and slow you down. It's very interesting, you know?

Once you put on the uniform, you suddenly become a little more stupid, and time seems to flow slower.

However, someone put things into a very positive perspective yesterday.

We were in a training shed, and it just happened to be breezy. That guy (i can't remember who) said that he treated ICTs like a retreat, a time to reflect. It's true... The training shed we were in was in the middle of a field, and when I heard that observation, the trees, the grass, the breeze quite suddenly become quite surreal.

After being introduced to it by Kok Boon, I watched a movie called "The Secret" not too long ago. (www.thesecret.tv) It describes the secret to success. I shall not reveal too much, you can take a look at the video at youtube, but having watched the movie, I found that ICT served another purpose.

The Secret


ICT takes away things I take for granted. Things like freedom of time, ability to keep clean, having a nicely cooked meal and all the other comforts of modern life, but much more importantly, time with family.

It is a part of human nature that we take things for granted after having it for a while. From what I recall from studying psychology, that's how our brain functions. Our thoughts and sensations being 'electrical signals' in the brain... after many times of repetitive 'signals' of the same kind, our brain builds a huge trunking line between the parts of the brain that are involved in that signal. This is so to make our brain process this information faster, and allow more of the adaptive parts of our brain to take in new information.

In short, we are wired to just accept certain sensations as the norm, after repeating it too many times.

The problem with that is that we tend to forget what we already have, and we tend to focus on things that we do not want. We then complain about things that are now not going on too well in our lives.

The more we focus on the things we DO NOT want, the unhappier we become, and the more the things we do not want become a reality.

To me, we need to constantly remind ourselves of the things we already have, the things that are going on well, and have been going on well. We are thus, training our minds to become in-tuned with the things that we DO want.

Sounds cheem? I think not. Think about it and I think you can find dozen examples of people who are unhappier and unhappier, and are thus becoming unhappier and unhappier still. Nothing mystical about that!

ICT Day Two : Day at the Range, Leadership in the SAF

Spent the whole day at the range.

Interesting new format now, makes the whole shoot feel more like an arcade game. It just got harder to get Marksman now.

Anyway, got a call from Chye Kwang to tell me everything is smooth in office. Glad to know that everything is ok, even though Teck Yew is on leave too.

Just got home. Its 10.30pm by the time I reached. I stay within 15 mins bus ride away from the camp. I can't imagine the others.

Tomorrow book in again at 7.00 a.m.

Anyway, I noticed something in the range opposite to ours today. Another company was having a shoot. A 2LT officer was arguing with a Staff Sergeant over something to do with ops.

Watching from a distance, of course, I could not really figure out what they were talking about. However, this triggered an insight I got from watching commanders lead in my years of the NS experience. Being of the rank of a corporal, I could, obviously, watch everything, and just pass judgement... but I have seen some really bad commanders in my NS cycle.

The kind of commander that totally sucks is a combination of

• one who cannot say no to the superiors, and is "super siao on" at trying to impress
  

• one who cannot admit that he does not have as much experience in certain areas as, say, a NCO, who could have been in service for more years than he, and could have a better approach to do things, or have an insight on situations.
  

The problem with this combination is that, on one hand, while trying to impress his superiors, he could fall flat on his face because he might not be realistic when setting a task, and his subordinates fail at achieving the unrealistic targets that he promised. On the other hand, he would also lose any respect that the subordinates originally had of him.

So? Complete failure...

Of course, in the Army, subordinates cannot leave his charge so easily, neither could they disobey his orders directly, so things would go on looking fine on the surface.

In the long run, the net result would be inefficiency. You would have people who cannot lead at all, in leadership positions. These people would not leave, since they know that they are inefficient, and would not survive in the real world. Instead, they would serve long and well in their positions and depend on their ranks to lead.

Result?

Inefficient SAF.
Fucked up person who will be ill equipped for the real world when age finally catches up and he has to leave the forces. His only skill? Managing people, which we know he can't do very well anyway.

By the way, I am not really passing any judgement on such leaders. By the sixth one I meet, I have already gone past that. I just find it kind of sad?

There are a lot of personnel stuck in these kinds of position. The whole problem is... many of them might not even realise the truth, since they are sheltered by the system.

Thankfully its not like I am in the Army. It is much better in the 'real world'.

"The Departed" VS "Infernal Affairs"

VS

Infernal Affairs

I started out doing a review for "The Departed" ... but I think any comparisons with "Infernal Affairs" would be inevitable, since I've watched both.

On its own, "The Departed" is a great movie. The movie is worth
S$8.00
Movies in Singapore are from a range of S$6.50 to S$9.00 depending on the day and time you watch it on.

Leonardo DiCaprio plays Billy Costigan, an Irish American who goes undercover into the Boston mob.

Matt Damon plays Colin Sullivan, groomed by Jack Nicholson's Frank Costello into becoming an informer for him.

Nicholson is a contained nuclear reactor as Costello. On the verge of blowing up, keeping the audience guessing as to when he is going to blow. This relationship keeps the tension on Costigan as he goes through close shave after close shave. Reminds me of The Joker in the original Batman movie.

In comparison with the Hong Kong original, "The Departed" departed on what drives the two main characters' actions. The timeline is different, for one. This accounts for the difference since in the Infernal Affairs movie, both characters started going undercover at around the same time, and the movie starts at least 8-10 years after they've been undercover.

Leonardo DiCaprio was great at portraying the role of Costigan. Always in constant danger, his internal conflicts are barely below the surface. However at times, I am a little lost on what drives Costigan. Tony Leung's character, the undercover cop, wants to be a cop... and faces an identity crisis, and internal conflict for not being able to say that he is one. He's been in the triads for 9 years. And there are plenty of opportunities for him to show that he really wants to be a cop. Costigan has been undercover in the mafia, for over 2 years? And he wants to quit the force after that. It is a little difficult to empathise with Costigan's pain.

Similarly for the role of the informer. I felt that the motives for Sullivan were too vaguely shown, and hence I could not really feel for the character. Matt Damon did a good job at whatever material he had, playing the two-faced character pretty well. But what the movie lacked, again, was what drives Sullivan? Andy Lau's character was more well developed in that as the audience, throughout the film, you understand that he really wants to be a 'good guy' too, and had been forced to be in the position he is in.

It could be due to a difference between the American and Asian culture, but I would say that I derived more tension from Scorsese's "The Departed", because Boston is portrayed as a grittier, more violent place as compared to Hong Kong. The locations and sets the movie was filmed in was dirtier, granier, closer to reality.

Andrew Lau's "Infernal Affairs" portrayed a less gritty Hong Kong, the locations and sets are cleaner, neater. The costumes and make up for the actors also leave a clean, cool feel on screen.

In my opinion, the latter allows the story to be told, whereas I found the grittiness a distraction in the former, especially in the dealing of the movie's main characters.

It is just interesting that the same plot (most of the plot keypoints are there) can be treated with such a vast difference. So what we have here are essentially two movies, both great, and both worth watching for different reasons, however, if I have to make a choice, it will have to be "Infernal Affairs" on any given day.

ICT Day One

1313 hrs

Just hours into my ICT, and I remember why I hate this so much. Procedures and protocol... Time-wasting... Procedures and protocol... Time-wasting...

Very annoying.

I guess I will not be able to furnish too much details about my training, but i'll do my best to give sketchy details without sensitive information.

Oh, and I might not be able to bring my pda into camp, so I don't even know if I can even blog.

1922 hrs

Confirmed. Though the official word is sketchy at best, and the only certain order is that no CAMERA phones are allowed. In general, everyone gets jittery when I bring a pda into camp.

Bah... I shall do without one then. I shall do things the old way… pen and paper.

Anyway... long day tomorrow...

Range.

Death Note Movie Review

, the movie is based on a highly popular Japanese Manga series written by Tsugumi Ohba and illustrated by Takeshi Obata of the same name.

Good? Quite...
Worth
S$9.00
Movies in Singapore are from a range of S$6.50 to S$9.00 depending on the day and time you watch it on.

In order to enjoy this movie, you have to suspend your logic, and just enjoy the plot.

The story, in a nutshell, is about a note book, labelled 'Death Note'. Death Notes (I can only assume there are many) are used by Death Gods (Shinigamis) (again, I assume there are more than one). If a name is written on it, the person whose name is on it shall die. The 'Death Note', comes with instructions rules on how to use it... in English...

Ermm... (like I said... suspend your logic...)

The book was dropped by a Shinigami, Ryuk, and intended for Raito (Light) Yagami to pick it up. He was skeptical about the book, but eventually uses it to start on a mission to cleanse all evil from the world as Kira, his alter-ego on the Internet.

L (Eru), an eccentric, top rated detective is the one who was tasked on the job to find Kira. There are other characters that come into the plot, like Light's father, who happens to be the captain of the investigative team looking for Kira, Light's girlfriend, L's helper, and a cute teenage TV starlet Misa Amane, whom I suspect will have a major role in the following sequels.

Because I have not read the manga series, I am unable to compare between the two mediums, but I say that as a movie, Death Note was well made.

The movie starts with a high tempo, showing one mysterious death after another, then explaining the reason in flashbacks. The pacing for the plot was good, giving enough time for character building, and tension building. The use of silence, which I observed in many Japanese anime and films. as a tool story telling was not too excessive but was very effectively placed.

CG animation was not too excessive. According to my friend, the animation for the Shinigami Ryuk, was done exactly as how he was drawn in the manga series. Even his love of apples had been faithfully depicted.

Tatsuya Fujiwara was very convincing in the role of Light Yagami. Kenichi Matsuyama was also excellent as L. Portraying the odd quirks and mannerisms without over-acting must be a very difficult job. Supported by the rest of the cast, they have managed to make the incredible premise of the film, plausible, at least.

A sidenote... but I think Shunji Fujiwara, the actor in the role of L's helper Watari, really looks like the late Singaporean comedian Wang Sa.

Without revealing the plot too much, I think the movie was very well made to have made me change allegiance within the duration of the movie.

The end of the movie is but the beginning of the next. So don't expect the story to end with this one... this is only part one.

But I can't wait for part two. It is slated to be released in November of this year. Don't know when it will be released to Singapore, since the first one took 4 months to come, but I can't wait... :)

Incredible Weekend

Pic from Far East Website
Spent an incredible weekend with Hwei Min at the Far East Plaza Service Apartments.

Had thought of having another barbeque at the balcony, but thought otherwise because we had a heavy buffet lunch at Goodwood Park Hotel with my parents.

Madeline and Tony came over to join us for a game of Cashflow 101. Tony chose to sit out of the game. While Madeline played with us, he took a nap. We played a standard two hour game, first half, and second half. Tried to explain the game mechanics, and the underlying implications to our everyday lives. I think she understands a little, but not too sure if she really got it.

Madeline said that we were two friends that Tony ‘approved’ of, and was willing to join us for a get-together. Quite a nice feeling, that.

I sincerely hope, and Hwei Min does too… that Tony would eventually be able to listen to some of the financial literacy stuff that we are talking about, and Madeline is just getting the hang of now. I think it is great that Madeline wants to find out, but it will be great if the both of them are in this together.

That’s one big reason why I love Hwei Min so much. She has her faults, she might falter a little in our path, heck, I do too sometimes. But we are both on the same path, and if what our friends say is true, this kind of partnership is worth millions.

We watched a total of two movies this weekend. “Deathnote”, and “The Departed”. I’ll be coming up with the reviews shortly, a little too much for the week. I will get down to the other two movies that I’ve watched soon. Watched “Rob-B-Hood” on Tuesday, and “Talladega Nights : The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” on Wednesday.

Note to myself … blog on the day things happen, not after!!!

The haze... Do we have a right to blame?

Just a quick note after such a long time of not posting.

Been busy lately, and really pushing myself to write down my thoughts before I lose them.

Anyway, the stupid haze had been coming back and forth for weeks now. Who is to blame for this? The Indonesian government? The farmers?

I don't know. But I was downright dissapointed with Singaporeans who added to the problem. Last Friday was the Chinese Lantern Festival. Was at West Coast Park with a couple of friends for a barbeque.

Saw some people throwing sparkling fireworks onto trees. It had not been raining for days now.

Dry trees + Sparklers

=

Fire + Smoke + Burnt Tree

Wah lau... I mean, at least when Indonesian farmers are doing the burning, it is for a reason, right? They want to clear the land for their crops, right?

What's with these Singaporeans? Do it because they damn bor liao or what? The funny thing is ... these are probably the people who kao beh about the haze ... and the loudest lor...

Firstly...

This being my first post, I should introduce myself.

I am ...
an E going to S, to B and to I,
a PE,
a non-traditional Budhist philosopher,
a trained Software Engineer,
aspiring artist,
aspiring musician,
aspiring photographer,
a Martian...
and the list goes on.

Who am I?

Who really understands who I am anyway? Me? My wife? My close friends? My parents? I guess the question is who are you? Whoever the reader is would understand whoever I am.

Thus this blog.. Random rantings about everything under the sun, hopefully it can help me define who I am, and help my friends and family understand the different perspectives that form up the whole of me, TWeaK.